the importance of . . . . . the BLACK handbag!

see this wonderfully black handbag!! it wasn't always this beautifully black! it once was beige with a small brown print. it's journey to becoming black was fraught with chemicals and worries and maybe even a few grey hairs. should it be dyed? but the pot wasn't big enough. should it be painted with fabric paint? but it was $6 for just 3 ounces. maybe it could be . . . spray painted? oh, but the smell and the poisons that get emitted into the air! couldn't the director just change the line from "the black handbag" to the "beige handbag with the brown animal print?" no, of course not. so my friend consulted her local shoe repair man (the shoe repair man! don't we all consult our shoe repair man when we have a handbag problem? well, maybe it's time we did!) and bought two cans of black leather dye for $12. she donned her gas mask (doesn't everyone have a gas mask?! oh, but she calls it a respirator, so apropos for earnest, n'est pas? she bought it in a size small many years ago when she used a lot of turpentine to paint. i just love to think of her painting away in her studio with her gas mask on!) and went into the downstairs alleyway behind her building's basement and . . . sprayed!!! et, voila! le perfect handbag! anything for earnest!